Motherhood ain't a walk in the park

Ain't a walk in the park I have to tell you, as I have started to know and get to know more of how to be a considerate human being, there is more to motherhood than I use to think.

It is a total life change. I was not the perfect tool for the job, I am a happy go lucky, Good time chaser who smoked and drank like there was no tomorrow, an unwise spender and a devil may care type of person. I was into life and self gain all the time man, whatever suits my fancy.

These 9 months changed all that.

These 9 months bought the best version of me I couldn't imagine I would be.

It's beyond explanation. This experience blew me away and made me more confident as a person.
9 months of no immediate gratification from synthetics, no pain meds, no alcohol, no smoking just plain self will and thoughtful consideration and an extreme feeling of love and anticipation that was so raw. Physical and emotionally grew me to a point of understanding my strength and weaknesses. There is another life that wants to live and I gave way, this life is choosing to live from receiving my surrender and it is a different experience, I know that is true love, I am capable of true love. That is incomparable. No shit from anybody can beat that. It is a God given gift and I am lucky to be able to have it manifested in front of me. But this revelation doesn't mean I am going to submit myself to your church so stop yourself before you go on inviting me. Hahaha.

Along the way I have lost a lot of friends and gained friends, my fair weather friends just started to drift away because of changes and choices the people I never though would be my friends just all of a sudden came barging into my life full of love and care. I had more meaningful relationships with people now as opposed to the relationships I had prior to getting pregnant and all these changes happened in a span of 9 months. It was a wild ride.

I have no regrets but all that I have is a sense of thankfulness, this child on the way changed my life and will continue to change my life for the best.

I am looking forward to more of these changes that will be revealed to me as this next phase in life progresses.