I woke up today thankful that the contractions I felt last night didn't progress as full on labor as I slept through it.
I also woke up today to the reality that Bubba Taluli is due to come out in the next 2-3 weeks. I am raising a child in this crazy world, my crazy world.
This crazy world he is going to wake up to has grandparents that are happy to have a grandson but unhappy about my situation.
This crazy world has a grandfather that is not the best well wisher and have already pre empted a future of doom for my kid and our mother and son relationship.
This crazy world he is going to wake up to is a world where everyone has a father that comes home every night and puts them to sleep.
This crazy world he is going to wake up to is a world where his father has other things to do and priorities aside from him due to his circumstance.
It is a heck of a responsibility to raise this wonderfully awesome kid.
I am not supposed to be a person who dwells on the negative, but the sheer drama of this imagined future was enough to break me today. Sometimes you just need to wash your heart with a good cry knowing that at the end of the day, things will work out well according to what it is supposed to be. All I can do is control the things that I can control.
This is easier said than done I know.
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